I has diabetes. I can has cheezburger?

diabetes cheeseburger

Every month, the various departments in my office do a “team lunch.” Half the time it’s pizza (which we all know is not great for the ‘beetus), but today it was CHEESEBURGERS!

Since I have gout AND goddam diabetes, cheeseburgers (or cheezburgers, if you insist) are not something I typically seek out.

Beef: bad for gout.
Bun: bad for diabetes.
Tomato: ehh, not great for diabetes.

Now, I could have brought some extra lettuce to work so that I could use it to replace the top bun … but you know what? F**k that!!!!

I’m perfectly willing to eat a crappy Burger King Whopper that way, but I wanted this cheeseburger. I NEEDED THIS CHEESEBURGER. Diabetics use words like “glucose,” “spike,” and “f**k my life.” We fart these words from the butthole of a life spent trying not to die. You use them as a punch line.

And …………. SCENE.

diabetes cheeseburger a few good men nathan jessup

Okok, let’s get to the point of this whole thing!

The cheeseburger came from a place near my office called Frodo Burger. The burger wasn’t gigantic by any stretch … I’d say the diameter of the bun was maybe similar to a McDonald’s cheeseburger or Big Mac.

But despite being very unimpressive in size, this cheeseburger was pretty amazing. And it even came out of the bag looking like something you’d see in a TV commercial! Drool.

diabetes cheeseburger

Blood sugar reading before eating: 108

This reading of 108 was at lunchtime, a couple hours after my usual desk breakfast of cucumber spears, cherry tomatoes, and (today, anyway) an avocado. I saved my Metformin/Diabex until later in the afternoon.

Also, I did NOT eat the fries that came with the burger! I had the cheeseburger and nothing else.

Blood sugar reading after eating: 186

This reading was about an hour after I finished my cheeseburger.

Ok, so 108 → 186 doesn’t seem TOO bad, right? That’s an increase of +78 mg/dL. Not great, but certainly not the end of the world.

And then, just for “fun,” I went and checked my glucose again 15 minutes later! Goddammit. Why did I have to do that?

15 minutes after my 1-hour cheeseburger test, I was at 204 mg/dL! Shit.

diabetes cheeseburger

So I checked yet again after another 15 minutes. That test had me at 184, so my blood sugar was on its way back down.

This means that I actually went from 108 → 204, which is +96 mg/dL, and that’s really not a good result. As far as I’m concerned, anything that sends the glucose up by ~100 mg/dL or more is very, very bad.

I ate this cheeseburger because it was … ehhh … more or less thrust into my mouth by the demands of office life, but I think next time I’ll be doing the lettuce-as-a-top-bun thing. Based on my Burger King results, I think losing the top bun would go a long way toward limiting the glucose increase. The cheeseburger should still be great (I hope), but *ugh* just a bit less so.

diabetes cheeseburger